→
20% of the population is now
drinking coffee, 60% is having sex, 19% is watching television and one
yokel is now holding his mobile in his hand
→
A woman likes to have four
animals in the house: a jaguar in front of the doorway, a fox in the
closet, a bull in bed, and a numbskulll to pay for this all.
→
Are these your eyes, I found
them between my brests!
→
At this moment i have a déjà
vu and a loss of memory at the same time. I thin I have forgotten this
before.
→
Be friendly with your kids,
they choose your home when you are old!
→
Be nice to the ones who
smoke.. every cigarette migh be their last.
→
BEEB! Send this message to 5
of your friends and you will have unbelieveble sex tonight! If you break
this chain, you'll never have multiple orgasm again!
→
Birdy birdy in the sky, left
a poopie in my eye. Me don't care, me don't cry, me just happy that a
cow can't fly!!
→
Braindetector activated,
calibrating, now searching.........still searching......get a good grip
of your mobile....still searching.......no brains found.
→
Did I not see you yesterday
at the mall, with a grey jacket? No? O, than it was a rubbish bag after
all! .
→
Do not disturb, I am enough
disturbed as it is . . .
→
Don't feel sad, don't feel
glue, Einstein was ugly too !
→
E man pays $.2,00 for a
$.1,00 item that he needs, a woman pays $.1,00 for $.2,00 item that she
does not need.
→
Excessive use of alcohol can
lead to a pregnancy.
→
For you I would go as far as
the end of the world. Do you promise to stay here ?"
→
God created the earth, God
created the woods, God created you too, but yes, even God makes
mistakes!
→
God created the universe,
the earth, nature, the eggs, man and saw that it was good and beautiful.
God also created woman and thought : ‘I hope she will make herself up’!
→
HALLO, this is your mobile.
There is no particular problem. I just wanted to leave your pocket, want
the smell is unbearable!!!
→
Hello I am a virus and I am
entering your brain right now..... sorry I will leave, I can't find a
brain.
→
Hello, this is GOD. I make
few bad creations but you are the worst monster I ever realised. My
apologies on behalf of the whole world..
→
How would you like your egg
for breakfast.... hard-boiled or impregnated?
→
I am a killer,I kill people
for money.....But because you are my friend,I'll kill you for nothing!
→
I am not stupid, I am
blond!!! B - L - O - N - T
→
I am not your type ... I am
not inflatable.
→
I know why I am single, my
parents-in-law were not able to have kids...
→
I like to compare you with a
nice cold glass of beer, beautiful colour, perfect taste, really perfect
and when the glass is empty i just take the next one!
→
I once sniffed Coke, but the
icecubes blocked my nostrils...
→
If being ugly would hurt,
you would be in pain all day long.
→
If you have picture where
you look old, keep them. In twenty years you can prove that you have not
changed a bit.
→
If you really ressemble the
picture on your ID, you are not fit enough to travel.
→
Ik would like to be a
volcano... smoke all day and people say ... look he is working!
→
In case of fire read this
message.....................................I SAID IN CASE OF FIRE YOU
FUCKING IDIOT!!
→
It is charming, incredibly
handsome, extremely good, well shaped, horny,an animal in bed and it
knows one French word ... MOI!!
→
Love me or leave me.
Hey,where is everybody going ???
→
Mobile sex: push 1 for oral,
2 for anal, 3 for normal, 4 for a trio, 5 for SM and for everything ...
dial my number!
→
My feelings for you are like
the sea. " Wild and romantic ? " "No, they make me sick."
→
My mother in law walks five
miles every day, I wonder where she is at this moment...
→
Nice perfume... but do you
really need to marinate in it?
→
One out of four people is a
chinese. If your father, your mother and your brother are not Chinese,
it must be you.
→
Opticians bend your the
rims/frames of your glasses for they are too polite to say that your
ears are in the wrong place.
→
Read in a hospital... The
psychiatrist may nog be disturbed
→
roses are red, violets are
blue, frankenstein is ugly but what the hell happened to you????
→
roses are red, violets are
blue, most poems ryhm, but this one doesn't...
→
Scientists in the US proved
that people who do not perform well in bed and who have difficulties to
come hold their mobile in their right hand ..................
→
Smoking is allowed in this
area, blowing not!
→
The more I learn the more I
get to know, the more I know the more I forget, the more I forget the
less I know, so why should I be learning??
→
The one who digs a hole for
someone else, is sweating blood !
→
They dropped your name, can
you pick it up ?
→
This cat, is cat, a cat,
good cat, way cat, to cat, keep cat, a cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for
cat, 20 cat, seconds cat! Now read it all without the word cat!
→
This is the telephone
terrorist team. While receiving this message a virus will be activated.
This virus should have infected your mobile by now. Your mobile will be
disabled, unless you are ugly.
→
This is your boss: "You are
allowed to read the newspaper during the working hours and do certainly
not miss the job adds."
→
This sms can only be read by
someone SEXY:...try again...again...maybe you are just not sexy?...one
more time...hey don't force it ugly!!!
→
Those beautiful eyes, that
incredible body, such a brain, a sexy mouth, nice smile .... but that is
enough about me, tell me how you are?
→
We cannot grant you a life
insurance policy because you are already 102 years old. "I do not
understand. It is proven statistically that at that age only few people
die."
→
We will now upgrade your
brain.......Please wait........Searching.......Searching.......Still
searching........Sorry, no brain found !!!
→
What he want, I do not want
... What I want, he does not want ... What we want, is not allowed!
→
When I was a dog, and you
were a flower, I walked over you and gave you a shower!!
→
You are an unwanted child.
Your parents paid the medical expenses for your birth with their
accident insurance.
→
You are never too blond to
learn !!!
→
You got STYLE... You got
SEX-APPEAL... You got the BRAINS... and you sure as hell got the
BODY....WAIT!!!!!...SORRY....wrong number
→
You have the ones that think
and you have the ones that do things. The worst kind are those who think
that they are doing things.
→
You should know what it
takes to look this cheap!
→
You used to be so ugly that
your mother had to tie a steak around your neck, otherwise even the dog
would not play with you
→
You will have to cut back on
your sex live. What part will you leave out, talking about it or
thinking about it?
→
You with your beautiful
eyes, you with your nice hair, you with your fantastic body ... o,
sorry, wrong number
→
You’d better not be a dayfly
and not having your day.
→
Your provider adjusted his
rates. The rate is determined by the length of your genitalia, the
shorter they are, the less you pay. You can telephone for free from now
on!
→
It's important to find a man who has
money, a man who adores you,a man who is great in the sack. It's
also imprtant that these 3 men should never meet!
→
A man can kiss his wife goodbye. A
flower can kiss a butterfly.Wine can kiss a frosted glass.But u my
friend can kiss my ass!
→
i tried to call you from a payphone
last night. i put my doner card in by mistake, it cost me an arm and
a leg!
→
Hey can u do me a favour, take a pic
of urself n send me it, i'm playin cards n i'm missin the joker!!
→
Hey friend remember dat without
stupidity there can be no wisdom & without ugliness there can be no
beauty… so the world needs YOU after all!
→ Jesus says
to John come forth ill give you eternal life. John came fifth he won
a toaster
→ A girl
phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody
home." I went over. Nobody was home
→
At dis moment in time 10 million
people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million
people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text!pass on
→
The rain makes all
things beautiful.The grass & flowers 2. If rain makes all things
beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?
→
i want u 2 know dat our
friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.U jump out of
da window... I look down & den... i lauf again
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